Always Good Never Perfect

Have you ever noticed that no matter how good you are, there's still always someone out there uttering the words "You're still not perfect though!" behind your back/in your ear/to your face?

I have.

For a long time I battled with not feeling as good as I could be, or -- as the new popular phrase goes -- I hadn't been feeling like "my best self" #2018. 

So now that I am in a place where I am not only financially stable and reaching my goals successfully, but am also comfortable in my own skin and with who I am as a person, I take small niggles and comments at what I still am not "good" at personally. 

You see, I believe in a little thing called *personal growth* which means that I believe that people can change/can grow/can mature/can become wiser - all through experience. 

I was never a perfect person, but I was never a bad one either. I just grew out of old habits which were pulling me down and impeding on my potential. I worked hard, and I made something of myself that I am proud of. 

That doesn't mean I am done working hard, or trying my best or that I have reached the maximum of my potential. 

It means that I have clarity, that I have confidence and that I am connected to myself and grounded in my life. 

It means that my goals are my own and my actions are my responsibility. 

So when I am caught in a situation where someone is comfortable enough in their own imperfect life to tell me that my life is imperfect - I take it with a big spoon full of salt. (not just a grain) 

Be it that I don't necessarily look at other people and notice their imperfections right away/ or that I have been through enough in my life (even the self inflicted things) to know that I can't judge anyone else on their imperfections any more than I would like to be judged on mine, I just don't like it.

But, here's why I am wrong. 

I am good, but I am not perfect. This is true. 

So instead of hating on that person, or taking offense to their pickiness/judgement/comments on how imperfect I am - I should thank them. 

See, you should never stop trying to be better than your "good", you should always work towards enhancements. That's the real personal growth. 

It's not taking offence to a person who tells you you're not enough, it's about knowing that you are enough, but your life can always do with some minor improvements. Be it personal, physical, mental or spiritual - you can always be a step or two closer to who you were always meant to be.

It doesn't mean you aren't good, or you aren't better than you were before - it means you're never going to stop being good/getting better - with time, with age and with wisdom!

I am always going to be good, and my good is always going to get better - but I am never going to be perfect. 

THE AGE OF THE IDENTITY CRISIS

Dear readers, I have been writing, but nothing I have written strikes me as blog-worthy. I hope to increase the amount I post but for the meantime this is an adaptation of something I had written down and forgotten about, then – thanks to a friend – remembered suddenly. I hope if you’re reading this, that my message lifts you.
Thanks for reading guys, it’s deeply appreciated.
– Julie

I’ve recently come to a conclusion that in 2000 or so years from now in the year 4015 AD, that the name of our Era will be The Age of the Identity Crisis. Seeing as everybody around us when questioned about their aspirations, goals and dreams or even their current situation you can safely assume that (like you are) they are also taking time to decide, or just figure out who it is they want to be, and who it is they’re meant to be.

It's a struggle. What with every magazine, TV show, movie and let's not forget social media outlets like Facebook and Instagram practically outlining and reinforcing the expectations of society.

But where do you draw the line? When is enough, enough? When is it too much?

We all are plagued with the overwhelming need for acceptance, from everyone. Even people who we don't necessarily like. It's become an epidemic. Everyone has to like you, and you'll do everything and anything to ensure that they do, and the media knows this. Society knows this.

The sad and all too inconvenient truth is that we have become worse than drones. Why worse? Because a drone is programmed to carry out specific orders and designed specifically for their task, whereas we humans have a conscience, and the ability to rationalize. We get to develop our own opinions and have our own ideas. So why don't we? It's simple. Conformity to society provides individuals with a false feeling of 'belonging' which then leads to the all too easy remedy of their lost identity.

This is a problem.

Why? Because this new found identity and sense of belonging is nothing but short lived. Soon enough the person you have become, rather, the person whom society formed becomes your worst enemy. You slowly start to work against yourself, something doesn't quite click. You read more magazines, you buy more make up, you drink more at parties, you chase after this new identity of yours and then you realize, it's all fake. The second you stop conforming, you cease to belong and who you are while you aren't conforming isn't accepted. Then you're left with nothing but a few fake friends, a bigger identity crisis than you began with and to top it off, a lack of self-worth.

Obviously, I have been through somewhat of the same experience, being a young adult myself. Here's what I now understand that I wish I understood back then.

'Who you are, is a reflection of what other's see in you.'

That's the golden rule. Who you are is a collection of what other people see in you, for instance, my family see me as 'daughter' 'sister' 'niece' 'granddaughter' 'cousin' something as simple as my place in my family, already creates the aura of belonging. Now, if we expand past the general titles and labels, you will notice that who we are actually differs around all kinds of people. At work I am sophisticated and confident and outgoing. I am respected and I am able to make decisions and work efficiently. But with my friends, I'm less likely to call the shots, and I can be a little more indecisive. I can be selfless in the eyes of some, and selfish in the eyes of others. I can be nice to some people and other people will think I'm a total bitch. Why is all of this important? It's simple. Who you are cannot be determined by anyone else. Why? Because even though 'Who you are is a reflection of what other's see in you" YOU are the person who shows them only what you want them to see.

So here's my tip. Go home, on your PC, in your journals or anywhere that you can go back and read it. Write down who you are, and read it aloud, and if you don't know who you are, or you’re just not happy with your answer keep looking. It’s okay not to know who you are, the important thing is that you never stop learning about yourself, so go ahead, learn, search and during your conquest remember, who you are, no matter what, is unique and extraordinary, you don’t need to fit in perfectly with other people, you just need to fit into your own skin.