Always Good Never Perfect

Have you ever noticed that no matter how good you are, there's still always someone out there uttering the words "You're still not perfect though!" behind your back/in your ear/to your face?

I have.

For a long time I battled with not feeling as good as I could be, or -- as the new popular phrase goes -- I hadn't been feeling like "my best self" #2018. 

So now that I am in a place where I am not only financially stable and reaching my goals successfully, but am also comfortable in my own skin and with who I am as a person, I take small niggles and comments at what I still am not "good" at personally. 

You see, I believe in a little thing called *personal growth* which means that I believe that people can change/can grow/can mature/can become wiser - all through experience. 

I was never a perfect person, but I was never a bad one either. I just grew out of old habits which were pulling me down and impeding on my potential. I worked hard, and I made something of myself that I am proud of. 

That doesn't mean I am done working hard, or trying my best or that I have reached the maximum of my potential. 

It means that I have clarity, that I have confidence and that I am connected to myself and grounded in my life. 

It means that my goals are my own and my actions are my responsibility. 

So when I am caught in a situation where someone is comfortable enough in their own imperfect life to tell me that my life is imperfect - I take it with a big spoon full of salt. (not just a grain) 

Be it that I don't necessarily look at other people and notice their imperfections right away/ or that I have been through enough in my life (even the self inflicted things) to know that I can't judge anyone else on their imperfections any more than I would like to be judged on mine, I just don't like it.

But, here's why I am wrong. 

I am good, but I am not perfect. This is true. 

So instead of hating on that person, or taking offense to their pickiness/judgement/comments on how imperfect I am - I should thank them. 

See, you should never stop trying to be better than your "good", you should always work towards enhancements. That's the real personal growth. 

It's not taking offence to a person who tells you you're not enough, it's about knowing that you are enough, but your life can always do with some minor improvements. Be it personal, physical, mental or spiritual - you can always be a step or two closer to who you were always meant to be.

It doesn't mean you aren't good, or you aren't better than you were before - it means you're never going to stop being good/getting better - with time, with age and with wisdom!

I am always going to be good, and my good is always going to get better - but I am never going to be perfect. 

THE AGE OF THE IDENTITY CRISIS

Dear readers, I have been writing, but nothing I have written strikes me as blog-worthy. I hope to increase the amount I post but for the meantime this is an adaptation of something I had written down and forgotten about, then – thanks to a friend – remembered suddenly. I hope if you’re reading this, that my message lifts you.
Thanks for reading guys, it’s deeply appreciated.
– Julie

I’ve recently come to a conclusion that in 2000 or so years from now in the year 4015 AD, that the name of our Era will be The Age of the Identity Crisis. Seeing as everybody around us when questioned about their aspirations, goals and dreams or even their current situation you can safely assume that (like you are) they are also taking time to decide, or just figure out who it is they want to be, and who it is they’re meant to be.

It's a struggle. What with every magazine, TV show, movie and let's not forget social media outlets like Facebook and Instagram practically outlining and reinforcing the expectations of society.

But where do you draw the line? When is enough, enough? When is it too much?

We all are plagued with the overwhelming need for acceptance, from everyone. Even people who we don't necessarily like. It's become an epidemic. Everyone has to like you, and you'll do everything and anything to ensure that they do, and the media knows this. Society knows this.

The sad and all too inconvenient truth is that we have become worse than drones. Why worse? Because a drone is programmed to carry out specific orders and designed specifically for their task, whereas we humans have a conscience, and the ability to rationalize. We get to develop our own opinions and have our own ideas. So why don't we? It's simple. Conformity to society provides individuals with a false feeling of 'belonging' which then leads to the all too easy remedy of their lost identity.

This is a problem.

Why? Because this new found identity and sense of belonging is nothing but short lived. Soon enough the person you have become, rather, the person whom society formed becomes your worst enemy. You slowly start to work against yourself, something doesn't quite click. You read more magazines, you buy more make up, you drink more at parties, you chase after this new identity of yours and then you realize, it's all fake. The second you stop conforming, you cease to belong and who you are while you aren't conforming isn't accepted. Then you're left with nothing but a few fake friends, a bigger identity crisis than you began with and to top it off, a lack of self-worth.

Obviously, I have been through somewhat of the same experience, being a young adult myself. Here's what I now understand that I wish I understood back then.

'Who you are, is a reflection of what other's see in you.'

That's the golden rule. Who you are is a collection of what other people see in you, for instance, my family see me as 'daughter' 'sister' 'niece' 'granddaughter' 'cousin' something as simple as my place in my family, already creates the aura of belonging. Now, if we expand past the general titles and labels, you will notice that who we are actually differs around all kinds of people. At work I am sophisticated and confident and outgoing. I am respected and I am able to make decisions and work efficiently. But with my friends, I'm less likely to call the shots, and I can be a little more indecisive. I can be selfless in the eyes of some, and selfish in the eyes of others. I can be nice to some people and other people will think I'm a total bitch. Why is all of this important? It's simple. Who you are cannot be determined by anyone else. Why? Because even though 'Who you are is a reflection of what other's see in you" YOU are the person who shows them only what you want them to see.

So here's my tip. Go home, on your PC, in your journals or anywhere that you can go back and read it. Write down who you are, and read it aloud, and if you don't know who you are, or you’re just not happy with your answer keep looking. It’s okay not to know who you are, the important thing is that you never stop learning about yourself, so go ahead, learn, search and during your conquest remember, who you are, no matter what, is unique and extraordinary, you don’t need to fit in perfectly with other people, you just need to fit into your own skin.

Paris and The Paris of the Middle East

I’m not usually considered as a sensitive person, maybe that’s because not many things are all that important to me. I’m not passionate about many things, but I am passionate about the following:

-          My faith

-          My family and friends

-          My country

Today’s post is in relation to the three. I woke up to some bad news yesterday morning. Overnight a pair of suicide bombings struck southern Beirut, Lebanon. It or I should say “they” killed 40 people and left at least another 200 others wounded. Then the following day I learned even more tragic news about another terrorist attack in Paris, France. Killing at least 153 people and leaving many more injured.

It’s safe to say more than anything, I am enraged.

I’m not scared.

I’m not worried.

I am sorry.

I’m sorry that such beautiful countries with the most amazing culture can’t seem to catch a break.

I’m sorry Lebanon has to suffer because the pathetic countries surrounding it don’t know how to play nice.

I’m sorry that people had to die as a result of a pathetic group of people’s, (suspected to be members of ISIS) beliefs in extremist ideals of a religion that supposedly screams “peace!”

I’m sorry for the families of these people, I’m sorry for the wounded and more than anything I’m sorry to the people who aren’t fazed by such a disgusting act of terrorism, because it’s just “typical Arab politics”

I am sorry for Paris, I pray for Paris.

But Lebanon, I am more than sorry for you. I’m heartbroken for you.

Lebanon and the Lebanese people don’t deserve to be associated with what I can only describe as the scum that the majority of the Middle East has become. We are not a dirty people, we are a people of culture, of traditions, of passions, of love and of peace.

I am sorry for Lebanon because their “government” never gave them a chance.

I am sorry for Lebanon because while France has declared state of emergency, Lebanon has yet to do a single thing about the atrocity.

I am sorry for Lebanon because the media over-looks them, undermines its suffering and has no compassion for their suffering.

I am sorry for Lebanon because this is NOT Lebanon. This is not what our country is about.

We are the country of the greatest

Saints, home of the Cedar trees (referred to in the bible multiple times) the manufacturers of the alphabet, and we are the country most associated with the phoenix -- and for good reason. With over a total of ten wars, multiple corrupt governments and needless attacks on our great city coming from all other surrounding countries, Lebanon and the Lebanese have fallen and come back up, time and time again. We have rebuilt, we have risen again, we have never given up and we have faced a hell that was forced onto us and you know what? After all the injustices, all the drama and all the reasons to give up and back down, Lebanon has never and WILL NEVER back down. Why? Because we are a people of faith, of friendship and of family. We are a people of compassion and for as long as the greatest Saints who have ever graced this land are standing with us, it doesn’t matter what evil stands against us. God will always prevail and that belief has been embedded deep into the core of our hearts and we live never in fear, sure of this one thing. God will prevail, Lebanon will never die.

For Charlie.

When you finish school, you are in no means prepared for what actually takes place in the real world. You only know that the faces you once saw every day of thirteen years, will no longer be a frequent thing in your life. You know that you’re going to move on to bigger things and you know that nothing will stay the same.

What you don’t actually realize is a reality is that some of the people you went to school with, will be married, or have children – you know this is all a possibility but you imagine it won’t be for some time.

You don’t expect time to move so quickly, or that you won’t actually remember the last time you saw certain people. Sometimes you even forget your class mates until their name comes up in conversation, or you see them on Facebook.

But for all of you, I sincerely hope you never have to hear news of an ex-class mate’s death. When I left school I anticipated many things, but I never anticipated any of my classmates dying. I never expected to be hearing that kind of news about someone my age. None of us did.

I guess that is testimony to the fact that we actually know very little about the next hour of our lives.

You never expect something so wrong to happen to someone so young and you don’t expect to be so taken aback by it. You don't expect it to faze you.

The fact of the matter is that most of us spent our entire childhood and most of our adolescence living with the people we went to school with. By living I mean that you spent at least seven hours of most days/weeks/months of a year with these people. You grew up with them, and even if you don’t keep in contact with them or frequently see each other, you still know things about these people. You know some of their embarrassing stories, what kind of person they were, who they were friends with, what kind of music they listened to and thanks to social media, you can basically keep up without catching up with them.

We may have left school years ago, we may all have different lives to the ones we thought we would have, but deep down in a place we don’t even realize exists we are all still those little kids, running around the play-ground, racing to our classrooms, gossiping about each other, our teachers and dreading those hideous blue blazers. We’re still those kids who keep their timetables in their diaries, hate their uniforms, and can’t wait for recess and lunch just to have a chance to sit down and chill with our favorite friends. We’re all still there, we all still have a piece of each other with us.

We re-visit that place constantly when we see or hear news about one another, we think about it in the back of our minds, we try to picture that persons face, remember the last time we spoke to them, we jog through all the times we encountered them and then we think “how naïve were we back then, that we didn’t ever expect things to change so dramatically” – and that’s the thing about growing up, you realize more and more every day, that each day in its own way is a blessing. That there are no guarantees. We never expect that one day, when we look back on those times, that one of us won’t be existing in the same world that we exist in, that they’ll no longer be with us. That all we actually have is that memory, of when we were young, when things were simple. When you didn’t have to remember people because they were always there. You never have to face the reality that for everyone, there’s an “end”.

Today our entire grade lost a class mate, some of us were still close to him, some of us weren’t, but all of us will look back on those days, when we were still young, still naïve, still together and we won’t forget you. We will always remember you, always pray for you and always revisit our memories with you. God bless you and Rest in Peace.

Matthew 25:21

" His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a little, I will set you over much; enter into the joy of your master.’ "