An Inconvenient Truth

Something that got my attention recently, is how easy it is for girls to compromise themselves, and their dignity. This isn't meant to come off as judgmental, so please don't take it that way ladies, but really, truly I've started to notice even amongst adult women, females are really compromising everything about themselves. They become disposable objects to men who will have a good time with them, and look for a commitment to someone else, and then these girls make excuses for them like "Oh but his great grandmother passed away three months ago."
Common ladies! Be better than that. You deserve better than that!
I know what I'm about to say may come off as a little bit controversial, but I'm going to say it anyway- Men (or really any human being) will only treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated. It's all about you, and if you let them get away with something once, they will inevitably make an attempt at getting away with it again OR they will take it a step further.
Now, this isn't a rant about girls who degrade themselves, and how over it I am, and how much it angers me - no. This is my message to girls who feel like they may be falling into this kind of lifestyle, or for girls who have a friend who may be, and want to know how to help them. 

I was only young when I heard this at a retreat when I was still in school. I can't remember the speaker's name, but he was absolutely brilliant, here's what he taught me.

Females ask themselves THREE main questions.

1. Am I beautiful?
2. Will anyone ever love me?
3. Will I always be alone?

Which leads me to my point. In asking yourself these questions what you're ultimately doing is looking for the answer. When looking for this answer it's important to remember a few essential things.

✓ Yes, you are beautiful
✓ Yes, someone will love you (people already love you)
✓ No, you are not alone (Face it you pessimists you can't be born without the contribution of two people)

Now I'm not kidding myself by believing that just because I said so, you will all read this and believe it. But here's the catch- It doesn't matter what I think, it matters what YOU think of yourself.

See this is how you land yourself onto the track of compromising yourself or your beliefs or your standards in a relationship girls. You ask yourself these questions, but you're so desperate to confirm that you will find someone who answers and reassures you of the answers to all these questions that you start to accept anything that comes your way, or worse, you start to force yourself into accepting the bare minimum.

My advice? Set your standards.

1. The non-negotiables

Ladies it's not that hard to figure out what you deem to be what you want in a man. So decide on three things that are non-negotiable and simply do not negotiate or compromise them. For example, my man has to be Catholic (enough so that I don't have to drag Him to church or to pray with me), intelligent (enough to hold a conversation with me) and  assertive (aggressive enough to argue with me but passive enough to let me have my own opinions)

2. The preferentials.
These are the things you prefer your man to be,  but you can live with him not being all of them and only some of them, set these too and prioritise them. I'd preffer him to be funny, down to earth, somewhat attractive, fit, and has a degree in a stable job...

3. The deal breakers.
These are the things that you can not, will not and do not accept from a man, ever. They aren't your non negotiables, they're the things you can not accept from any man, even if he meets the non-negotiables and all of your preferentials. No porn or strip clubs, No violence, and he can not be a tight ass.

4. For the Catholic girls; Pray!
I believe you should pray for your future husband, because chances are he already exists in the world. But I also believe that in saying that all the catholic girls would agree that they should start respecting their future husbands now, by respecting themselves. St Joseph is the perfect Saint to pray to, he was the most perfect and chaste spouse!

After you set your standards girls, remind yourselves of them every time you're considering a guy as a potential boyfriend. Ladies this in no way means that you don't date a guy, you date them and figure out wether or not they're real potential or just surface standard. Remember, girls don't necessarily choose the kinds of guys that approach them all the time, so when a good guy does, give him a chance. It shouldn't take more than a couple of dates to figure out you want him as a boyfriend rather than "a guy I'm kind of seeing."

Lastly, for the guys who are potentially reading this, my advice can and will apply for you too! God Bless :)

Serviam OR Non Serviam

"Quis ut Deus? Serviam!" (Who is like God? I will serve!)

When put to the test by God, Lucifer - who wanted to be above God- declared his rebellion in Heaven against Him with the cry, “Non Serviam!” (“I will not serve!”).  The Archangel Michael loyally defended God with his cry of “Serviam” (I will serve) and vanquished Lucifer to Hell with all his demons, today all Catholics pray to St Michael so that he may defend and protect us against the wickedness and snares of the devil.



'SERVIAM' is THE battle-cry which needs to be our daily cry to God, declaring that we will submit ourselves to Him in His divine plan for each of us and for all humanity.
All you need is a sincere heart and good will (Lk 2:14), to unite your will to His and start bringing His reign and heavenly peace into a world that tells us to ignore God and embrace only what feels good. Translation; only want for yourself, what He wants for you!

Embracing the war cry "Serviam" is simple. 

Avoid Cafeteria Catholicism – 

We can’t pick and choose what we believe and still be authentically Catholic.  We need only TRUST that two millennia of Church history and teaching are far superior to what we may come up with on our own.

‎”Be Catholic, really, faithfully, unapollogetically Catholic, and the future will have the kind of articulate and morally mature leaders it needs.” (Archbishop Charles Chaput)

Put your Pride Aside – 

 It takes a pretty big ego to say no to Christ and His Church! What you need is more humility, total surrender and a sincere commitment to put God's will before our own. I know I'm not the only one who can say that doing it my way has never really worked out well for me in the end.

“Few souls understand what God would accomplish in them if they were to abandon themselves unreservedly to Him and if they were to allow His grace to mold them accordingly.”(St. Ignatius of Loyola) 

Practice Personal Holiness – 

I could wax lyrical about this on my own or I could just show you this...

“Since Christians are reclothed in Christ Jesus and refreshed by his Spirit, they are ‘holy’. They therefore have the ability to manifest this holiness and the responsibility to bear witness to it in all that they do."  (Blessed John Paul II,)

It say's it all!!!

Be Joyful – 

It is so easy to let all of our problems take over and cause us so much anxiety and pain which leads us to forget to be HAPPY- it happens to all of us, even the best of us.  But, try not to forget that people in our community are watching us.  They may be seeking Him and looking for someone, anyone, to show them the way to Christ.  For some it's as simple as learning from good examples, or being inspired by joy and being encouraged by other people's faith.
Remember we are called to share the Good News.

Pursue Heaven, Reject the World – 

As Catholics and children of God we should always know that Heaven is our ultimate destination and we are not of the Earth.  Will anything but the Holy Spirit help us get into Heaven?  No without the Holy Spirit we are forced into a secular way of life in a society that only wants us to have little room for God- if any- and where vanity and pride take over all of our thoughts and intentions.  Doing what is right is not always easy, but in the long run it is clearly the most beneficial. Besides...  Why would we not choose Heaven?

There is still another way to be a true Catholic in today’s world that is the way that makes all the others possible:

PRAY FAITHFULLY EVERY DAY.

No one can seriously rebel against the Church if they are faithfully committed to daily prayer. It's really not that hard!

• Start the day with a prayer of thanks to God for the blessings in our lives.  
• Pray for help and courage to face the trials the world will throw at you.  
• Make the sign of the cross and pray over every meal, public or private.  
• Pray a daily Rosary and ask for the help and intercession of our Blessed Mother and pray with our families every night. 

Look, it would be so easy to read this and decide that it doesn't work for you, I'm not judging anyone, I believe everyone is guilty of not being able to do these things constantly and I know I have taken the easy way out in practicing my faith in the past mainly because I haven't been really keen to put in any extra effort.
We all push back against doing what we know is right because it takes a lot more effort, or because we don't want to be judged by others and sometimes even because we have a lack of courage to confront really difficult situations.
But, there's an upside - it's the thing I love most about being a Catholic- No secret it's not easy to be Catholic- the road to hell is EASY, but God know's that, and He knows sometimes we will fall, so He is all merciful and compassionate and gives us ample opportunity to rectify things with Him, while we are of the living, and He never abandons us!
Take it from someone who is incredibly grateful for her faith. I have spent way too much time in a pride-fulled rebellion and it was exhausting.  Surrendering to His will and saying “yes” truly made all the difference in my life.

So, what will it be, Serviam or non serviam?

What Catholics DON'T Believe.

Well. I'm kind of realizing the extent of people's misconceptions of what Catholics believe and/or stand for. So here's an outline of the most common and ridiculously wrong misconceptions.

Catholics do NOT Believe...

That the Pope is God and can do no wrong;
The Pope's ruling/teaching may be infallible, but it's important to remember that... The Pope is HUMAN, and being human means we are not perfect, even though we are called to be. There have been bad popes in the past, but that doesn't mean we hate the Church, that's like saying because ONE police officer is corrupt, society hates the entire justice system.

That anybody or anything may be worshipped or adored besides the True God;
No. We do not adore any other idol but God, it is our first commandment to worship and adore no one but God, no one comes before Him and all LOVE come from Him.

That the Blessed Virgin is equal to God.
We do not adore Mary, we love her, and it's okay to love her. “Never be afraid of loving the Blessed Virgin too much. You can never love her more than Jesus did.” --Saint Maximilian Kolbe. Adoration is for God, and God alone. God chose Mary and she - out of love for God - accepted without question the will of God.

That images may be worshipped;
Images including pictures of Jesus, are not worshiped whatsoever, not even the Cross. These images are there to REMIND us of Christ's sacrifice and selfless love. To remind us of the Saints who are in Heaven, who can intercede for us, but never do we worship these images.

That indulgences give permission to commit sin;
It's pretty simple really, if the ends don't meet the means or the means don't meet the ends, then DON'T do it. This means that if you're doing something good for a bad outcome, it makes what you're doing BAD, and if you're doing something BAD for a good outcome, it makes that outcome BAD. Just because you get forgiven for your sins, doesn't mean you commit them.

That a Mass can be bought;
Catholic Mass is the most sacred form of worship that a person can can participate in, we are called to visit Christ in the Tabernacle and the ONLY way the consecration is made, is within a mass.

That forgiveness of sin can be bought;
Money is nothing to God, and nothing to your soul, you can't buy forgiveness from Him, you need to be SORRY for your sins and for having offended God.

That sin can be forgiven without true sorrow;
It isn't as simple as going in and saying what you did wrong. You have to be sorry for what you did wrong, there's no two ways about it, and the priest may not know, but God knows. He knows EVERYTHING.

That Scapulars, medals, crucifixes and other sacramentals can give graces without proper dispositions on the part of the user;
A scapular isn't a "Get out of Jail (hell) free" card, that you can just keep in your pocket- or in this case around your neck- for later use. These objects are meant to be used, properly and daily, to give us GRACES throughout our life, they don't protect us from Hell, WE have the choice to do that.

That non- Catholics will all be damned and That all Catholics will go to heaven;
Catholics are judged more harshly than any other religion, because Catholics KNOW the TRUTH. We have been given AMPLE opportunities to know, love and serve God and if we KNOW the truth, anything we do wrong, is rejecting it. You are judged by what you know, not by a Catholic, but by God. Our role as Catholics is not to damn the non-believers, but to plant the seed and pray for them.

That the Bible is the only rule of faith;
We CAN get all our answers from the Bible, but our rule of Faith has also come from the Church that is INFALLIBLE (perfect) the Catechism is a perfect example of this.

That anybody may interpret the Bible;
The Bible is designed to interpret itself, and the Holy Spirit has equipped each of us to understand it. Don't take anyone elses word for it, go out and deepen your knowledge yourself.

That Our Lord Jesus Christ established many Churches;
Jesus only established ONE Church, even if there are many, only ONE can be right, you can't chop and change according to your comfort and what is easy for you.

That outward piety is profitable without charity of the spirit;
Our religiousness comes from the charity of the spirit, simple.

That ALL religions are the same.
They are not all the same. There may be common theories or beliefs but they are not the same.